Who Wants to Live Forever?
by MadDrWhale
Summary: Hiro has buried Adam Monroe, but he can't bury his guilt about what he's done to his one-time childhood hero. Something keeps drawing him back, to talk to the Earth. But deep beneath the Earth, a certain immortal is listening. How will this change the course of events when the world needs his help, and Hiro is forced to exhume him? (Mostly canon until: S3.E4 "I am Become Death")
1. There's No Time For Us

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user **dori4n**, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

"LET-ME-OUT," Adam shouted for what must have been the millionth time. He'd lost count after the third time he'd made himself hoarse and had to wait for his throat to heal, and the second time he'd used up all the oxygen within the little box he was trapped in shouting and asphyxiated himself. How long had he called 'Carp' before he had given up one-time nihonjin friend changing his mind and setting him free? How many hours, days did he spend crying out hoping someone, anyone might happen to hear him? But he had given up on that now.

Time had become even more meaningless than in the nearly 400 years that had passed since the last time he had seen that damned traitor named Hiro Nakamura. At least then he had been more or less free. True every few decades when he could no longer maintain the facade of looking eternally youthful he often had to move on. Find a new country to call home, at times a new name, occasionally a new wife or lover to keep him company for awhile.. Now, though, he was alone. Of course 'Adam Monroe' as he had come to be called now, had been on his own for some time now, but his world had been far bigger than a coffin then, he thought furiously, pounding on the lid once or twice more at the thought, though this was more from frustration now than an actual belief that it might help to free him from his prison.

When you have absolutely nothing, the little things can become everything. Some unaccountable time, and innumerable number of deaths later, he realized that if he was still, and quiet his hearing had become accustomed to the silence of his grave. He could hear worms and insects moving though the Earth, even the sound of rain as it fell on the ground so far above him and seeped into the dirt. Once he had heard a plot beside his being dug up and filled. _Oh how he had screamed then_, but neither the grave diggers, nor anyone at this poor bastard's funeral had heard him-their hearing to dull, their ears neither fine-tuned nor listening for any voice beneath the Earth.

And then one day... a familiar voice greeted his ears.

**"I didn't mean it... I did not mean it when I said that I should have killed you."**

He had still been too angry to be grateful for the distraction, a voice to listen to, even if it was the man who had put him here. Of course he hadn't meant it. He had known that the moment the words had left the little Japanese man's mouth. Hiro wanted to be good, to be... well a hero. He didn't want to hurt anyone. Even after he had stolen Yaeko's heart out from under him, he had gone back to the camp, he'd tried to destroy the guns, tried to save his life even when he had fought to end his. He was too good to actually wish him dead. Though after 400 year he'd yet to find anyone who had any idea how to kill him permanently anyway. In the end this punishment, this quarantine that Hiro had provided for him was far worse.

**"I don't know if you can hear me, but... Kensei I could not have done it. Never."**

The voice seemed to pause almost as if waiting for a response, but he didn't feel much like talking. Besides it wasn't as though the Carp could hear him all the way down here anyway.

**"But what you were trying to do was... wrong. Very, very wrong. -You can't destroy the world, kill everyone and start over. -I had no choice. I couldn't kill you."  
**

"You've killed me a hundred times if you've killed me a dozen already by locking me in this damned box," he yelled to the lid of his coffin, but of course he knew the man wouldn't hear him, couldn't hear him, and listened, still fuming as the sound of the man's footsteps retreated from the ground above him.

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

He came back again. Of course, the immortal could hardly be sure how much time had passed since the last time that he had heard his one-time... _Had Hiro ever been his friend_, he mused doubtfully. Sometimes in the wake of his betrayal, and the excruciating pain of having woken in a charred body that had slowly mended and knitted itself back together until he had been whole once more he wondered if the strange man who claimed to be from the future wasn't the greater villain, if perhaps he had always had it in his mind to be the hero he had initially tried to convince him he was. _Fame, glory, a beautiful woman were enough enticements for most men, weren't they?_ But hearing the footsteps halt at the foot of his premature grave and knowing there was only one who knew where he was, he pushed the thought from his head. Hiro was many things, but he was no villain. _Stupid sentimental bastard_, he thought bitterly, _he'd buried him 6 feet under, but he couldn't bury the thought of him in the back of his mind?_

**"I... Never said I was sorry. Or maybe I did, I don't really remember anymore... "** the other man spoke to the dirt, and the immortal thought he heard a sad sort of chuckle that somehow didn't suit him. **"I try to find excuses, I try to justify myself, but... I made a mistake. I shouldn't have interfered between you and Yaeko. A real hero would not have. It was wrong. I'm sorry Kensei."**

The silence that followed these words was so long that for a moment, the blond thought that perhaps that the carp had left the cemetery, and the immortal to his solitude and thoughts once more, before he heard his voice drifting over the ground above him once more.

**"I don't understand how this happened. Why you did this. Was it all because of me and Yaeko? This virus, killing my father, killing so many people..? Maybe life doesn't mean anything for you anymore," **the time traveler continued with a sigh.** "I hope I'm wrong." **The immortal remained still, silent as he heard the footsteps retreating once more. He did not bother to reply, whether a whisper or a shout, he knew the carp would not hear him, and he wasn't sure that he had anything to say to him anyway...

* * *

**Translations:**

_nihonjin- a Japanese person_


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user __**dori4n**__, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

This was becoming something of a habit for the time traveler the blond thought as he heard footsteps approaching the grave that had become his prison once more, trying to decide whether to be flattered, or disgusted by it.

**"Things are going crazy. I don't know why I keep coming, I don't even talk to my father, I talk to a man who killed him, the one who wanted to end humanity." **Apparently the time traveler, and the _real_ Takezo Kensei was angry today. Good the immortal thought bitterly, with the tiniest hint of amusement. So am I. **"What were you thinking Kensei? That you had the right to commit genocide? That you could just... Get rid of every person on earth? And everything would be good?"** He was pacing now, the ageless man could hear his footsteps back and forth at the foot of where he was buried. But then his voice became somber once more, and any entertainment or pleasure the immortal might have derived from his suffering was gone just as quickly with his words. "**I trusted you. I've always believed in you. Even after you... You sold us to White Beard. I thought... I hoped you could be saved again. I'm not sure I still do."**

And why on Earth should the little man trust him? It wasn't as though any incarnation of himself since he had sold him to White Beard had done anything that even approached being worthy or selfless enough to redeem him. He was an angry, lonely, selfish, bastard. Hiro shouldn't trust him, not as far as the little Japanese man could throw him. But as he heard the footsteps retreating once more, leaving him alone, he had time to ponder his words, and his own thoughts. _Lonely_. When had he become lonely...?

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

Sometimes, the immortal wasn't sure if he was actually hearing his one time companion's voice from six feet above him, or if he were simply imagining whatever it was that he thought Hiro Nakamura would have to say to him. His last visit had hit him far harder than he had expected. Up until now he had done his best to keep a tight grip on his anger. Convinced himself that this was all he had left, his hate and need for revenge. But now such emotions seemed to be slipping through his fingers like grains of sand, or even water. He simply couldn't continue to hold on to it. Not even now, while he was trapped in this too small box, dying over and over again, because somewhere, some small part of him knew that he deserved this. That he deserved far worse than this fate that Hiro had left him to. At least now and again he came to see him, talked to him. It was one of the few things that kept him from going completely crazy. Unless of course he already was, and he was now simply imagining the man visiting, saying what he most wanted to hear.

**"Remember, last time I said I wasn't sure I still believed in you?" **There was a sigh, followed by a rustling of clothing, and of the grass as the time traveler took a seat at the foot of the grave-site. **"I was wrong. I still do. I don't know why, even you don't believe in yourself anymore. You've lost yourself in darkness so deep it scares me. I wanted... I wanted to make you who were meant to become. But... You had so little faith in yourself. You still don't have much. In yourself, in the world. My heart bleeds for you Kensei. I wanted to show you you were wonderful and... I screwed it all up. Sometimes I think it's my fault if you turned out to be a villain." **There was a time, the blond thought listening to the younger man speak, when he would have believed this. When he might have been only too happy to point the finger at the meddlesome, idealistic and well-meaning, time traveler. But now... something had changed since the last time his friend had been here.**  
**

The first of which being that he didn't loathe thinking of Hiro as his friend anymore-it came as naturally as it ever had when he had first met the strange man, but he no longer resented it. He was more disappointed in himself that Hiro probably couldn't still think of him this way. He had been his friend. And so much more. He had still cared about him in spite of himself, even after Yaeko.

Yaeko. Now and then he had dreams- were they dreams? Nightmares? Hallucinations? Did he sleep anymore, or was it just time spent in limbo while his body regenerated? He couldn't be sure, and it didn't seem to matter every time he closed his eyes he was back in Feudal Japan, reliving it over and over, and over again, wondering how or what he might have done differently that wouldn't have ended with him in this too small pine box. But astonishingly enough the swordsmith's daughter of legendary beauty was never the focus of such visions. It was Hiro. And if the immortal was truly honest with himself it had always been more, or rather all about the small man who was sitting at the foot of his grave.

It had still killed him not to reach out for him when he tried to save him from the explosion. He'd not been sure if he would be able to regenerate from such a thing. Being blown to pieces? That seemed pretty fatal even for him, but he had resigned to his fate. He'd let Hiro go. And despite the way he had gone about showing it, he'd regretted it every day since. And every day for 335 years.. that was an incredibly long time to bear the weight of such a regret.

It made him bleed, more than he wanted to acknowledge: the thought of having failed to live up to the ideals of bravery, honor, and courage, that was instilled in Hiro from a young age, and that his older incarnation had believed him to represent. He'd never cared about such things before meeting him. He'd been a self-proclaimed and happy drunk. But somehow it mattered to him what Hiro thought about him. Somehow it always had.

The rustle of fabric and grass, and fading footsteps mark the time travelers departure, and for the first time in a long time, the immortal Takezo Kensei and Adam Monroe allows himself to cry.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: ****_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user dori4n, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._**

**_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_**

* * *

He came back again. Or the delusion had. The immortal wasn't certain that he even cared anymore if he was actually hearing his old friend's voice, or just imagining that he was, it wasn't as though he was ever going to get out of this place. He would be here, dying but not rotting, and always coming back long after the time traveler passed from this plane. **"If I was sure you wouldn't find a way out, I would give you air but..." **A distinctive sniff, was he crying, the blond wondered a little surprised. Tears for him? He hardly deserved any such tenderness, or sympathy from him. **"How can I know you wont just get out and kill me. You tried. You wanted to. You wanted to kill everyone, including me."**

No Carp, the blond thought desperately. "Never you Carp," the ageless man whispered shaking his head despite the fact that there was no possible way that this man would hear or see him. Would know that this was not true. He would live, and die believing this. That his own one-time hero had wanted him to die. That he still did.

He would have no right to. After all the atrocities which he had committed over an unnaturally long life, in so many different names, but always with the same face? Burying him alive like this was understandable, the only thing that might have been more merciful would have been to kill him, but Hiro was hardly a killer, and he would not have wished his blood on the time traveler's hands no matter how much he had thought he did once.

But more importantly he couldn't find that bloodlust and thirst for revenge within him anymore. More and more he was beginning to doubt whether or not it had ever been there.

**"I saw you on the roof. I know you killed my father. I... Couldn't believe it was you. I couldn't believe you were still alive... I couldn't believe you were doing this." **Ah, yes Kaito Nakamura. The company. His proteges once, until they had found a new vision for the world, turned their back on him and left him to languish, forgotten in the his cell in the basement of one of the facilities he had thought and helped to build. Did he regret killing him?

No. In the end, in spite of all of the revelations he had experienced over a very long life, and what seemed an eternity in this box, he wasn't entirely repentant that he had. But hearing his one time companion and friend clearly choked up with emotion, he did feel sorry at least for having hurt him. How could he have ever thought that any injury to this man was simply collateral damage?

**"Once... Before everything went to hell... We were friends, weren't we?" Silence. "I hope we were..." **Yes Carp, he thought sadly. We were friends once. Before I screwed it all up, the immortal thought defeated as he heard the man take his leave of him once more.**  
**

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

He sat down, Adam thought listening to the distinctive rustling of clothes, the grass bending and blades breaking under the weight. The immortal made an effort to shallow and slow his breathing. If he'd bothered to sit beside the grave he meant to stay awhile, wanted to talk. Something was bothering him. The least he could do was try to be an attentive listener and postpone dying and regenerating until he was finished, and had left again. It was likely an unnecessary precaution. He'd long stopped crying to be let out, screaming to the heavens, or even talking most of the time. It wasn't as if there were anyone to hear him anyway.

******"I miss you." **Well now this was interesting, the blond thought, brows furrowing in confusion, his heart giving a hopeful sort of skip he couldn't afford to think too much about. The Carp _missed_ him? The younger man's voice drifting down through the Earth to his eyes, seemed to reflect a similar confusion and disbelief. ******"How can I? How can I miss you? I... It's wrong, I have no right to." **His voice is shaking now, as he tries to rationalize with himself.****** "I have friends, I have support, I am not alone and you... You are the enemy, you are the Nemesis, my Nemesis! I can't miss you!"**

These last words sound angry, though whether he is angry with the man he has buried 6 feet under, but cannot seem to forget, or with himself, the immortal can't be entirely certain. There is a long silence that falls and seems to stretch into the infinite between them before he speaks again. And when he does, the shakiness, and shallow breaths betray that his emotions have gotten the best of him, he is crying. ******"I can't... I have no right. I put you here. I brought you to this point. It's all because of me, of what I've done. It was not supposed to be like that... No..."**

I put myself here, Carp, the blond thinks shaking his head. He had had his ideas, a warp twisted idea that somehow he was doing the right thing. That he had the right to play God, to call a mass reset. He had given Hiro no other choice but to kill him, and even then the time traveler had proven himself a better man than that. And if this tiny man had not 'broken history' by meeting him, teaching him to be a hero, falling for Yaeko... Then the immortal most certainly had in the ages since. Who was to say what was supposed to happen, how it should be, which timeline was the right one anymore.

The silence that fell once more lasted for hours. At least, to the best of the immortal's estimation, marking the time only by the changes in noise around him, the sound of crickets softly drifting down to him. So long without words that he began to wonder if somehow this weary visitor had someone slipped away without his notice. Or perhaps even that he was just a figment of his imagination since he never heard him walk away. But after a time there was a long, and sad sounding sigh, the rustling of clothing, grass, the scrapings of shoes, and he heard the other man leaving again.

"I miss you too... Hiro," he admitted softly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes: ****_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user dori4n, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._**

**_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_**

* * *

"Hello Carp," the immortal greeted hearing those familiar footsteps approaching his grave, smiling a little at the prospect of his visitor. "You're going to make the other ancestors jealous you know. Visiting me this frequently. No one else in this row comes nearly so often as you," he teased softly, though of course he knew that the time traveler would not be able to hear him, that even attempting a conversation like this was foolish, and utterly futile.

******"It never stops. One crisis slows down, another starts."** His friends voice sounded older somehow, in a way that the immortal decided he didn't like. Not at all. He sounded sad, exhausted, beaten, in a way that he had never heard before. Not even when the man had found his hero in the vault, such a far cry from the Takezo Kensei he had once followed and believed in, on the edge of breaking history and destroying the world._**  
**_

******"It's like... No matter how much I fight, how hard I struggle... It will never stop. People will always go crazy and do horrible things. I am scared. I fear for this world. I fear for the future.." **There was probably, no one alive that understood better than the immortal listening to the young time traveler the burden he felt. The sense that no matter what you did, it would be undone, messed up again, perhaps even worse all too soon. Yes, in retrospect, perhaps his solution to wipe out the bulk of humanity and simply start over had not been the most logical or ethical one, but it had been born of the same frustration and fears as this young man now spoke of, borne entirely too long.**__****  
**

**************"They don't listen to me, they... Think I'm a joke, they never take me seriously. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am just an idiot."**

"No," the blond replied firmly shaking his head, one hand reaching up to press against the lid of the coffin. Knowing he could not lift it, could not possibly hope to break his way out, but wishing if only for a moment that he could reach beyond it to the man above that spoke to him. To touch him, comfort him somehow. "You are a hero, the very best of humanity, the epitome of hope-don't let them take that away from you, Carp. You are not an idiot. They're the idiots for discounting you," the immortal replied though he knew he could not hear him.

There was a silence again for awhile, but no longer the uncomfortable or angry silence that had once passed between them. The immortal did not pass the quiet moments cursing or trying to convince himself how much he despised the man who had trapped him here, and came to speak to the ground.****** "I miss you calling me carp. No one does. I wouldn't like it anyway." **

The blond smiled softly, good. Carp was his name, Hiro was his Carp. No one else's. But the smile was bittersweet, because he knew the truth, however much he wished to ignore it. The time traveler was not, nor had he ever been his, he thought as he listened to his friend's footsteps trailed away into the distance.******  
**

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

******"It's noon. The sun is high and bright. I don't do this to hurt you you know, I tell you because... Because I don't want you to forget how it is outside. So... The grass is very green and there is a little breeze. The air is cool and the sky very blue." **The immortal closed his eyes it wasn't as though there was much to see besides the four walls of the coffin anyway, he thought, allowing the image which Hiro described for him this time in a lapse of conversation beside his grave to fill him up. He could still remember what the sun felt like on his skin, though it seemed like it had been a long time since he had experienced it. Could imagine the grass a deep, and beautiful green, the breeze whipping the blades softly about his companion's feet, a nearly cloudless blue sky. The image dissolved, or perhaps it merged into a more familiar and ancient one, followed by a heavy, disheartened shy. Why Yaeko?

******"I think... I think I wont leave you forever. It would be... It would be stupid. I only need to find someone who can hold you back. Someone powerful enough." **He was thinking of setting him free, the immortal thought rather taken aback by the idea. He was overwhelmed by the chaos and destruction going on in the world, so his solution was to open Pandora's box?

Not that the immortal had grown any more found of the four tight walls that surrounded him, but-well he had grown used to them. Had even become desensitized to running out of oxygen, and asphyxiating twice or so per day, only to come back again. He waited for such times as these when his friend would come to visit him, to talk to the earth, but if he was honest with himself, he had not dared to hope that the hero might change his mind about keeping him imprisoned here like this.

His next words are soft, so that even with his highly attuned ears, the immortal must strain a little, and spoken with a sigh of resignation. He does not linger at the grave after they are spoken, leaving the man 6 feet under alone with his thoughts.****** "I don't want to leave you here forever."  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user __**dori4n**__, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

**"It's getting worse and worse here... I begin to think you're better down there than up here. Everything is going to hell again. I have no one to... To believe in me. Well... I have Ando but... It's not the same thing... It's not. -It will never be. I thought I would never see you again and then... You told me I was more than a friend to you..."" **The immortal sighed softly. The voice he would have known anywhere sounded more and more tired with each successive visit to see him. He hated it. Even more so knowing that he could do nothing about it, though he couldn't imagine how being out of the ground and this pine box would change anything. No, he had had a chance to make him happy, to prove himself to him, and he'd failed.

The time traveler was right, it was better for everyone concerned if he stayed here. He should have known better than to get his hopes up about being released from this prison. Perhaps he could not be sure of how long he had been buried here, but after lifetimes of causing pain, heartache, and death, his penance could hardly have been served in full yet, perhaps it would never be finished. Hiro deserved and could surely find better help, and far better companionship than his own, no matter how much the immortal may have longed for it.

"You don't want me Carp," the blond whispered bitterly, shaking his head in the silence that followed his words.

**"You were more than a friend to me. I wanted to do everything good so badly I just... Destroyed everything."** At this the immortal stilled, his hand where it usually rested against the lid of the coffin, reaching uselessly up towards his voice, and the man himself, falling down to his chest, over his fast beating heart. He did not mean this. Not in the way that this eternally youthful man wanted him to. He could not. It had ceased being about him from the moment that he had helped him to win over Yaeko. And the princess had not truly been his either, in love with the idea of him, of the man that Hiro was. He had nothing, just dreams, and nothing to show for it-just as he always had, and now thanks to the time traveler's efforts, he didn't even have the drink to forget about it. Though it had taken him little time to lose himself to it once more when he had left.

The trouble with a body that regenerates as he would soon learn however, was that in the very moment his liver began to become compromised, his body instantly sobered him again. Even becoming drunk was beyond his reach. Oh how he had prayed, had wished, even tried to die, but it was no good.

**"Can you forgive me, one day," the voice above asked hopefully, nervously, tearing him from his thoughts.**

"I forgave you long ago. I just didn't want to admit it," the immortal whispered softly. "-Didn't want to think about what that would mean," he replied to the lid of his prison shaking his head and trying to fight back the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him.

**"I must go. I hope... I hope I will come back."**

"I hope that you do, my Carp, selfishly; even if for you sake it would be better if you did not," he replied.

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

Alright so maybe he was still a little bit pissed off about having been locked up in a coffin for- well god knew how long now. Yes, he knew he probably deserved it, that this was probably the safest bet for mankind, and the future, just as the little time traveler had thought. And yes, he had definitely come to terms with the fact that for some damnable, unknowable reason he was incredibly, inexorably attached to said time traveler. But hearing the digging had both thrilled and terrified him. Was it real, was he imagining it all? He couldn't be certain of anything any more other than he was breathing entirely too fast, and running out of oxygen. And dying and regenerating, that was enough to make anyone a bit bitchy wasn't it?

He could never have actually killed him, even as his fingers tightened around his Carp's throat he had known he couldn't actually hurt him. That he had never truly had the capacity to do so, which was why it was such a shock when he felt time around him freeze, and found himself in the box again. Had he dreamed it all? Oh god this was madness, he thought banging on the lid, shouting for Hiro, at Hiro, or anyone that would listen to let him out. And then he had heard his voice again. **"I will give you another chance if you behave, okay?"** He was not dreaming. He was not alone.

"Okay," he promised immediately.

"Threaten me again and it's back to your box," Hiro told him firmly as he held the lid open allowing Adam to climb out of the coffin this time, and lean against it.

The immortal studied him a moment, determining that his companion is definitely serious and nods, though for the sake of his pride he pretended to huff indignantly about the whole affair, before noticing that all is not quite right with the world around them. There is a leaf frozen in mid-tumble from a nearby tree, and the time traveler's companion has not said anything for a moment, he's not moving, and more importantly he isn't even blinking.

"Carp," the blond ventured uncertainly, turning back to his one-time companion, for the the first time in far too long, his eyes and face reflecting the face of a young boy's one time hero, not the villain and his 'nemesis' that he would later become, but the man Hiro had always believed and saw in him, the man the former drunk had always hoped and wanted to be for him. "Why is that chatterbox you brought with you frozen?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user __**dori4n**__, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

Hiro was not smiling. The smaller, younger man was standing with his arms crossed above his chest, looking as serious as it was possible for a man with such a young and innocent-looking face to look, and took a moment before replying, glancing briefly at Ando.

"Because I wanted to talk to you. Only you. He would not have understood," Hiro replied finally, trying not to show just how much hearing his old nickname had affected him. How he had missed it, in spite of himself.

The time traveler had never looked more serious, or more solemn in all the time Kensei had ever known him, all five feet and six inches of him, he thought suppressing a smile. How long had he screamed, pounding against the confines of the coffin, broken his nails-even fingers, his wrist- only for them to mend again, shouted until his voice was hoarse, until there was no more air left for him to breathe-until he died, only to wake again in the same box, still 6 feet under? How long had he sworn to himself that he would finish what he had tried to start, that he would have his revenge? Sworn that he would kill this man for everything that he had done to him? And when was the exact moment that he had realized he could never have done so, any more than Hiro could have killed him? That in fact, it hadn't been the fact that he had kissed Yaeko that had broken his heart so, but that he hadn't kissed him-and never would. That for all his talk of bravery, his heroism, and all his Carp's idolatry of him as a child, for all Kensei's efforts he would never be the hero that this man had once believed he was. -Would never be good enough. The virus, his plan to purge Earth of everything ugly, evil, tainted, or unworthy was proof enough of that. Where had that gotten him besides buried alive?

"You could have kept my 6 feet under and left him at home, to do that Carp," the ageless man replied finally, shaking his head, for the first time acknowledging that he had in fact heard him when he had come to see him so many times now, waiting to see how he would take this unexpected news.

Hiro was small, not so strong, usually shy, private, raised in the Japanese tradition of honor, and all those things. He was an ordinary man, with an extraordinary gift. Hiro, wanted to be a hero, but he was struggling, and... if he was honest with himself, failing most of the time. Here in front of his one time hero he had to look like Superman, he had to hide every single crack he could because... Because he had condemned him to so many deaths, so much agony that Kensei could do nothing, but hate him now, just as he had hated him then. So he had to remain still, too look strong and unmoved when he replied. "I said talk to you, not at you," but he understood the meaning of Kensei's words and what he was implying. He had heard him. All the times Hiro had come here to speak, all the things that he had said, Kensei had heard. "If you ever replied to me I never heard you," he replied. Then slowly, a little defeated, the little Japanese man uncrossed his arms, and let them fall limp at his sides, resisting the urge to bow his head in shame, but only just. "I need your help," he repeated again. "We all do, but..." he peered sideways at Ando. "I thought... I hoped I could convince you before anyone tried to threaten you."

"You seemed content enough talking at me these last few-hundred deaths or so," he replied forcing his voice to remain calm, even, not to betray everything, or even anything that he was feeling, pausing trying to account for the time that had passed, before marking it the only way that he could keep track of time in his underground prison. Would this bother the little man? True he continued to regenerate, but for a man who didn't want to kill him he'd certainly chosen the next best thing. When Hiro indicated that if he had replied he'd not been able to hear him, he merely shrugged. "I had little to say to you Carp," he replied bitterly. "At first," he added a bit more truthfully. "Besides you had no need to so finely tune your ears. What better did I have to do? It was the only sense you left me with. I could not eat, it was too dark to see, often too cramped to move," he listed trying to elicit some kind of reaction or response of sympathy from him.

"So you thought you would bribe me instead? What was it you offered? A bigger box.. with a vent? How is it you thought that _you_ would be able to convince me better than someone else? I tried to help. I was trying to help when you shoved me in this damnably small box," he replied stubbornly at his request. "It's not true you know," he continued, deciding to give him at least this, at least one of the things he had said to him from beneath the ground this man hadn't heard. Perhaps the most surprising and important thing he could admit to a man who probably thought he hated him. "What you said about the virus- I wouldn't have let you die. My blood would have cured you," leaving the implication hanging in the air that even now, despite everything, all the wrongs that Hiro had committed against him long, long past, he would have saved him from the clutches of death, that perhaps he didn't hate him so much as he liked to pretend to in order to maintain the facade of the cool, calculating and indifferent Adam Monroe.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user __**dori4n**__, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

If it was reactions that the immortal had wanted, he should have been happy. Hiro was ever the open book he always had been. Even when he did his best to keep a straight face his eyes spoke on his behalf. All the guilt rushing into them, those two dark pearls, always so expressive. H had been aware that Kensei would suffocate so many times he would not be able to count. Had known that it would be the most horrible thing imaginable to a man who couldn't die-or at least could not remain dead. When the man told him he had had nothing to tell him, Hiro looked away for a second, before forcing himself to look into Kensei's startlingly blue eyes once more. "I know," the time traveler whispered, his voice a little lower and weaker than he had been expecting and hoping it would be. But the more Adam talked, the harder the words seemed to hit him, stabbing him in his over-sized heart. "I know," he repeated the weight of his shame and guilt settling upon his shoulders.

Hiro looked as though the weight of the world had suddenly been thrust upon him. But curiously enough, watching the way his spirit and shoulders sagged, seeing the usual light fading from his eyes, was not nearly as satisfying as the immortal had thought that it might be, and it occurred to Adam that while he had wanted a reaction from the smaller man, this had not in fact been the one that he was hoping for. Habit and instinct of telling himself that he hated Hiro for so long, so many centuries dictating that he should make him pay. Hurt him, the way this Carp had hurt him. But for all his capacity for cruelty Adam couldn't find it within himself to draw any pleasure from it.

When Adam asked why he thought he would be able to convince him, Hiro seemed to find some of his nerve again, crossing his arms to stare at him again. "Because I was your inspiration, and you were my hero," he stated. "This is not something that dies easily. So... I broke your heart, I stole your princess, I did awful things to you like... Locking you here, but I couldn't let you destroy humanity. That's what villains do, and saving people is what heroes do," he replied his unbreakable certainty in right and wrong rearing it's head again. And suddenly he knew, remembered that in every story, the hero and his nemesis were always close like this, unable to escape or be themselves without the other. "I need your help because... someone stole a formula. Someone worse than you," he concluded causing the immortal to raise a disbelieving eyebrow. Someone worse than a man who had sworn to destroy everything that younger man loved- to destroy the entire world?

He seemed to find, at least a little of himself once more when he asked about why he thought that he of all people might be able to convince him to help him, to help save the world he had been so eager to destroy. "That was nearly 400 years, and many lifetimes ago, Carp," the blond reminded him, using the nickname which he had given him again before he could stop himself. How was it that that name was still habit to him? Why did this infuriating little man have to be right? Why couldn't he let go of him? How was there still some part of him that had fought his efforts to cut out all things Hiro, every memory of himself? Why did he still care what he thought about him? "I fell from your good graces easily enough," he added bitterly, when Hiro continued that such a bond was not one that was easily broken or severed. "You never needed me. Just the name I fashioned for myself. Why should it be any different now?"

Hiro took a step towards the coffin where the blond still leaned against the edge of it, but suddenly froze when the immortal confessed that he would not have let him die, clearly perplexed, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "But, we can't be the only living people in the world Kensei. This is not right. You are not a god to decide the fate of the world. None of us are. Not you, not me, not Peter Petrelli or Claire Bennet. No one. We are just men with great abilities, and we must use them for the greater good," he concluded, squinting a little at him. Why should the immortal have spared him of all people from his wrath, he who would have perhaps deserved it the most? "Kensei... why? Why would you have saved me? To... take revenge? To leave me in an empty world?"

He frowned. "It was 400 years ago for you. For me it was yesterday. You said it again less than a year ago, in this vault, just when you tried to kill everyone," Hiro replied with growing concern. This conversation was not going anywhere where he had planned or wanted to take it first. He had wanted to make it about the formula, about helping them, about Kensei redeeming himself, and about apologizing, not... Not a talk that was shaping up to look like what he had been confessing to this grave. Still when the immortal told him that he never needed him, Hiro snapped. "I did," he protested quickly, with a ferocity that he couldn't entirely explain.

"I did need you Kensei! You were... You were my hope that anyone could do good," his arms had fallen by his sides again, but this time he was almost offended. How could he possibly think that? "You were... You were a drunk, but I saw it in your eyes! This spark of good, this will to do the right thing. I know it, I'm sure of it," his voice raised in protest, hands fluttering about him in desperate emphasis. "It is not different now, you are still this person. I know he lies somewhere inside of you. You were Takezo Kensei, the hero, for awhile you were, before I broke it all."

Suddenly he shut his mouth, realizing what he'd just said and he took back the few steps he'd taken toward Kensei. He clenched his jaws, angry at himself for having lost his self control. He clenched his fists, took a deep breath and found back his composure. He'd been about to ask 'and why would you keep the man you hate?' but he knew. He locked his dark eyes in Kensei's and whispered. "Of course... Your nemesis. I am the only person you could keep because... Because I am what you hate most but also all you have, all you can possibly rely on, the only one who can understand." He sighed. "Just like you are for me."

Adam watched as this revelation that the immortal man whom Hiro thought hated him so much would have spared his life sank in for him. The blond looked away when he did that endearing nervous tick with his glasses, pushing them farther up the bridge of his nose with a single finger. Waited as it occurred to the man opposite him that as evil as Hiro thought he was- as much as he called him a villain, there might still be something there. Some human part of him that still thought of Hiro as his friend, even after everything that had come between them before and since. "Because I'm a selfish bastard," he replied avoiding the man's gaze when he asked about why he would save him. "And because sometimes, even immortals and villains get lonely," the blond replied simply.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user __**dori4n**__, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

The immortal sighed, deciding to address the points which the time traveler had raised one by one. "Time doesn't mean much when you have no means of keeping track of it," he acknowledged, less than a year he had been in his prison? It had felt like an age. With nothing to keep him company but his thoughts, and occasionally this time traveler who came to visit him. He couldn't help but to be a little surprised at the indignation on his companion's face when he quickly contradicted him after he'd said that Hiro had never needed him.

"I was never meant to be a hero. I was a drunk. A rudderless, happy, drunk. I never claimed to be anything more, or anything less. You were the one that told me I was a hero. You left me on the doorstep of the 90 angry Ronin. I would have been nothing, any other man, entirely forgettable if it weren't for you," he replied somewhat bitterly. "But you came along... you built me up, only to knock me down farther than ever. You left me with nothing-not even my name was mine anymore. I couldn't be the hero you wanted, so you abandoned me," he accused, forcing his voice to sound angry, though these last words broke his heart all over again. "You are Takezo Kensei, Yaeko saw to that. You don't..." But he stopped, halted mid-sentence at the smaller man's admission, and sudden stunned silence-that he blamed himself more than anyone. He had heard this before of course while he was buried in the ground, but it was one thing to have heard it, and another to see the proof of it in his former friend's face and body as he confessed it.

"Who knows what we're meant to be? I would never have guessed I could travel through time and space but I can. I never dared to hope I would meet Takezo Kensei but I did." Hiro sighed, suddenly tired of all of it and a bit annoyed to have Ando staring into the nothingness, frozen. The little man leant back against a tree, one arm fold against him while he made a quick twist of the wrist with the other to teleport Ando home. The other man simply vanishing as Hiro, once again, pushed his glasses back with his index. Well, the immortal thought impressed, that was definitely a new trick. "Time paradox... Annoying and they give me headaches." He mumbled, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"I built myself on the legend of Takezo Kensei, I learned honor and strength and the will to do good. And I was the one trying to teach said Kensei he could do so many things. You can not die. You have more than many lives, you just can't die. At all." He couldn't help but smile when the other said he was Takezo Kensei. "Maybe I am. But... But you could have been. I know it, I saw it in you. You did it, you were him." They were now completely alone in the graveyard, the moon shining above them like a watchful eyes. "If I hadn't been weak, you'd still be. Maybe... Maybe there is no Takezo, maybe he is just an idea, a concept and the only things remaining are... Hiro and Adam."

As sad as it was, maybe this was the answer. The very idea weighed on him more than anything else. They'd both fought to be Takezo Kensei but in the end... Neither of them were. Hiro had wanted this blond English man to be the hero of his childhood, not even wondering if it was right, then, to fix time he'd stolen the sword and made himself the hero. But in the end... All he'd done was tear time apart and making mistakes over mistakes, breaking history just fine all by himself.

Finally, when the immortal seemed to have regained his composure and began speaking again, explaining to himself the reason that he would have wanted to keep the time traveler alive, he had to step in and correct him. "You are not my nemesis," he interrupted, shaking his head. "I never wished for you to be." Oh, he thought sadly, he had so many wishes for what this Carp might be, but enemy-that was never among them, even when he had felt so utterly betrayed, still a part of him had hoped... though he did not allow himself to say so. "I hate what you did to me Carp. What I allowed you to do to me. But I could never find it in myself to hate you. Believe me, I tried. For centuries," he acknowledged shaking his head. "All I ever wanted was to be the hero you thought I was, but I failed. So many times now."

"Perhaps in another life," he smiled ruefully quoting himself the first time he had ever faced down the grim reaper, when he had thought he would die, shot up with arrows in his companion's tearful arms, before they had discovered his ability. "I daresay I'll have many."

"Oh, I am your nemesis. What else are we to each other," the time traveler's voice held such an exhausted resignation, as he shrugged, like it didn't matter. "After all, a nemesis is a person who you love and hate the most at the same time. I admire you, even now, despite everything. I still look up to you, hoping to see one more time the goodness I saw in your eyes. But in the same breath I fear you, for what you are capable of doing, I... I try to hate you for this will you have to kill so many, to think yourself a god amongst men," Hiro was talking to much, and he knew it, he should not be bearing his heart like this to the enemy, but... he couldn't think about this man as his enemy. It was too much, too hard..


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user __**dori4n**__, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

The immortal had all but forgotten about the other man, focused as intently as he was on Hiro, but he did have to admit when he happened to look over to see Ando staring unseeingly, unblinkingly onward at him was a little-irritating, so if it helped the time traveler to get rid of him, so be it. The blond listened intently as Hiro continued to talk, explaining how he had built himself on the legends of the great Takezo Kensei, and then hoped to build him to the hero he'd learned about. That he might have been the legendary man, but the immortal could just as easily have been him too, that perhaps he had been once. Even now to profess such faith in the man he had been made it difficult for the immortal to keep up his emotionless mask.

Perhaps the carp was right. Perhaps there was no Takezo Kensei, just an idealized man to aspire to be. He had fashioned the name himself afterall, and it was a pretentious name at best. But then, the immortal thought-this extraordinary time traveler would hardly have been bothered to travel back in time, much less stay and befriend a simple drunk named 'Adam', or any of the other names he had tested out before or since then.

What else are we to each other? Oh Carp, the blond thought shaking his head, once more avoiding the smaller man's gaze, for fear of coming undone under it. You are so much more than an enemy, and so much less than I should have liked, but he bit his tongue, listening to his explanation of the word he'd used. '_A person you loved the most_,' he thought his words echoing in the blond's head. But Hiro didn't love him. Love and admiration were two entirely different things.

"Traveling between time and space, 'righting wrongs,' you don't think that is playing God," he asked genuinely curious to here the man's logic and explanation. "I have seen evil Carp. Not just hurt, or bitterness, or revenge-true, lasting, unforgiving, and indiscriminate evil. I have seen it. Sometimes I have killed it, but it regenerates better and faster than even I do. It always survives. It always comes back, more savage than the last. Hate, war, torture, rape, death... You can flit in and out of it, fly away back to your own time, but I have seen nearly 400 years of it," he continued, voice choking a little on the words, before he regained control of himself. "I had to _live_ Hiro, through 400 years of it. And I'm tired of seeing it. I'm tired of fighting it. I'm just tired," he continued, knowing that while his body was ever regenerating, never tiring, his mind had never been more heavy.

"I wanted to destroy it, but every hydra head I cut off two more grew back. So I sought to destroy it the only way I thought I could, the only way that would truly make a difference. And you locked me in here," he gestured to the coffin. Maybe he had deserved it. Perhaps Hiro was right to put him away, keep him from the world, but if he only had this one opportunity to explain his reasons _why_ he had wanted to do this, he wasn't going to pass it up. "I only wanted what any man does-a sense of peace, my health-" he laughed at this, he supposed he would always have that. "Happiness, someone to love-and to love me," he concluded, though with this last item his voice was a little less steady, a little softer as he exposed a potential weakness, a flaw, his vulnerability, perhaps even his loneliness to this man standing across from him. "I had that once. Once, so very, very long ago, then you took it from me. And I've found nothing and no one like it since."

Hiro listened. He'd hoped he could have convinced him but apparently, it was easier said than done. He listened to the man explaining him how he saw the world, what he'd been through, how he'd witnessed the worst of humanity and survived it. How he fought it, tirelessly until his mind threatened to break, and Hiro, sweet hearted Hiro couldn't help but feel an incredibly heavy sorrow clenching inside of his chest. So... That was what is was all about? Pain, desperation, a man giving up.

"It is..." What was it again? Righting wrongs through time? Wasn't Adam right after all? Wasn't Hiro playing God as well, in his own little paradigm? Suddenly the cool air around them felt cold and the little man shivered, folding his arms around himself. Hiro might have a copious amount of certainties about what was right and what was wrong, but forced to face his own possible wrongs, his own mistakes, his own vanity, the little hero suddenly looked like nothing more but a lost young man. "I know what the future can be like. I know what can happen if only one thing goes wrong. I... Try to avoid it."

Suddenly, though, Hiro seemed to come alive again, leaving his tree to pace before the other man who was standing still, his emotions and the conflict created by what this man had said written all over his face. "But in 400 years don't tell me you've seen only bad things!" Oh, he had his passionate voice again. "There have been wonderful things done through the world! You can't... You can't deny all the beauty for the sake of the ugly things Kensei, you just can't. There is hope, there is always hope if you look for it carefully enough. I've seen the world on the edge of destruction more than once but I fought back. And it worked, we saved it." The immortal listened, but still recalled he'd said once on this very grave that he felt like fighting the wind, righting a wrong only to witness a new crisis. He was idealistic, and perhaps hellbent on trying to convince him that this life was worth living, the Earth and humanity worth fighting for, but the blond also knew that he understood what he was talking about.

"But how is it that you, or any of us get to decide what's wrong? People die. Sometimes they're meant to. It doesn't make it any less tragic, but maybe a tsunami is supposed to happen, or maybe this or that disaster stops another worse one from happening later. There are hundreds of futures. Do any of us really know the right one?"

"I saw beautiful things," he acknowledged nodding. It would have been a lie to say anything to the contrary, the world did have beautiful things to offer. "Sometimes I touched beautiful things, but they never lasted as long as the ugly things, and in the end I was alone. I saw beautiful things, and I saw terrible things, but I had no one to share either with. No one like me that could live and heal forever, or even someone that could understand what I was and not be frightened or repulsed by it."

This time the time traveler looked down and stopped moving when Kensei suggested that Hiro had taken everything from him. "I know I failed you. I should have left. As soon as you and the princess had found each other, I should have gone back in my time and everything would have been perfect. You would have become this hero, I know it. But I stayed." He dared to look up with the most miserably dejected face anyone has ever seen, a look which was despite it's intensity nothing short of sincere. "But I was a part of the great Takezo Kensei's story... I know, it was not my place, I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have taken Yaeko from you. This was a mistake, an incredible, horrible mistake."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user __**dori4n**__, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

"Natural disasters are natural!" God, how this immortal could be so unyielding when he wanted to be! Was he doing this on purpose? Comparing things that had nothing in common? Just to vex him? "It's nothing like what I'm talking about, you know it! I've seen futures where all of us are locked up like animals. I've seen futures so dark I can't even tell them. I don't want them to happen, never! Not for me, not for the people I love!"

His voice had rose up and his glasses had slipped on the bridge of his nose as he'd tried to explain his point of view and Adam could feel one thing he was trying to hide in his voice: fear. This little man was trying to be brave but he was terrified by all the things he'd seen in the past, in the future.

He frowned though when Kensei explained why he had been focusing on the bad things. "But..." He appeared a bit distraught here. "Beautiful things can last forever as well. Philosophy, art, selflessness, kindness..." His eyes were begging for him to confirm that. Hiro needed to hear someone acknowledging this was not just a fantasy.

"And people? Human nature? If they do what is natural to them, how is that different," the blond offered, but he knew he was simply being difficult now, could see the other man becoming frustrated. This would have amused him before, but now it seemed a more hollow victory, he thought shaking his head, and listening to the rest of Hiro's argument for the changes he made to history as he traveled through it. "But you would see me locked up," he pointed out softly. "I have been in a cage for every future. Just different kinds of bars, haven't I?" This must have meant that he wasn't one of the people that Hiro loved, he thought dejectedly, before letting the matter go.

He smiled as Hiro offered up that some beautiful things could last forever. He sounded hopeful, but also uncertain, as though he hoped this forever youthful, but in fact ancient man could confirm this for him. "Love," the blond replied simply. "When it's real," he qualified. "It's the most beautiful thing there is-the only beautiful thing that lasts forever."

Thoughts were tumbling inside of his head, his little time traveler's brain trying to sort things out, to understand everything he was hearing here and to be honest, it was quite hard. He took a few moments of silence to focus, to think, to try to get in everything the other had said and take them one by one and answer them. "Love..." This word was such a big one. One Hiro hadn't used often to talk about people out of his family. "I think... I think love can last forever yes." He agreed, not daring to look the man in the eyes. "About having you locked..." This time he looked up, above his glasses and whispered. "You'd have been better locked up than in some of the future I've seen."

"No," the immortal replied shaking his head firmly when Hiro suggested that he should have left once he and the princess had found each other. "Shut up. Don't you understand my stupid Carp? -You should never have left me. Without you I would always have been a drunk! You were meant to be a part of my story. Yaeko was sweet, pretty enough, but she was always your princess. -And you, were my prince." he admitted with a long and dejected sigh.

There he'd said it. What he had been holding back for 400 years. He would stick him back in the box now, the blond thought. Leave him there to die over and over again, but never rot, forget about him and go back to his family and friends just as he had before, because what else was he supposed to do with him? He couldn't possibly love someone he feared and hated, he had never been, and never would never be as good as the hero that he'd heard about as a child. "I was never upset, or hurt because you kissed Yaeko. I was heartbroken that it wasn't me. That I was so disappointing a hero you took my name back from me and became one of your own."

"I looked for you. After I woke up, and my body mended itself... I looked for you. Every village, every city in Japan, then Asia, then everywhere. I thought if I could just find you again, maybe..." he trailed off. Maybe what? What could he have done that would have made Hiro look at him with the unadulterated adoration that he had when first they had met? How had he ever thought that time would be enough to make things different? That Hiro could- that they might- He shook his head. "But you were right Carp, I'm better off in that box," he concluded finally. I'm tired of living so long, and seeing so much alone, he thought spirit finally broken, beyond what his powers alone could mend.

Hiro was about to reply to the 'shut up' the immortal man had thrown at him, but too soon after, Adam had explained and Hiro was left speechless. '_My carp_' had he just said? Never had the little Japanese man looked more like a carp than right now, with his mouth open, his eyes narrowed and an air of complete confusion painted all over his moony face.

All of their previous subjects were forgotten, this was too big and he couldn't be more grateful to have a tree to lean back against one more time because his legs were failing him. He listened, silenced, his mouth finally shutting as one of his hands went to cover it but in his eyes were no disgust or rejection. More like a terrified realization. "Me...?"

His voice was barely more than a shaking whisper and suddenly the last piece of the puzzle found its place. It was him, it had always been about him and not Yaeko, that was why... Everything actually. "It was... It was about... Me?" He was stunned. He blinked for a moment, like a fish, then he pushed back his glasses up and his face took this serious look again. "Well... You found me. 400 years later but you found me again. I wont make the same mistake twice. If I am all you need to be this man I once knew again, I wont fail you." He straightened his back and took a few steps toward the blond man. "I wont send you back in your box. I will right my wrongs. You have my word. If only I can show you how the world can be beautiful again, I will," he promised, adopting his more serious persona of taking on a mission... this one a vital one, he knew. But afterall if it was for Takezo Kensei, he would do it without a second thought.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user __**dori4n**__, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

The blond could almost have laughed at the shocked, open-mouthed expression on the smaller man's face. He looked every bit like the carp he'd always accused him of being. Opening and closing his mouth without any words coming out, trying to find a response, falling back against the tree beside him for support, clearly stunned. "Yes, Hiro" the immortal replied shaking his head, using the man's actual name for once. "My biggest fan, the first and often the only one to believe in me, my inspiration, my friend, my Carp. You. How could it not be you?"

The immortal studied the man opposite him as he seemed to still be reeling with the realization that in fact his hero had been just as taken with him, more so in fact, as he had been with the stories of Takezo Kensei as a young boy; trying to reconcile this new information with his memories and experiences. Meanwhile the blond fought back his heart trying to leap out of his chest when Hiro said the word 'love,' and trying not to make too much of the fact that the time traveler was no longer willing, or perhaps no longer able to look him in the eyes.

He laughed, he couldn't help it, Hiro was suddenly so serious, so determined, like he had just been tasked with saving the world-again. "Hiro, aren't you forgetting something? Did you- Did you overlook the part about me wanting to kiss you," he asked a little uncertainly eying this curious, and extraordinary man skeptically. He couldn't have done, he thought, pushing back down the hope that had welled up in him.

Then the time traveler did something he didn't do often: he took off his glasses to rub his eyes with his fingers and took a few steps around. This was... Stressful, if he was being honest with himself. He felt something clenching inside of him but when he heard the other man laugh he stared at him, or at this blurry shape his myopia allowed him to see and he couldn't suppress the amazed smile that crawled on his lips. It was such a rare sound, such a precious thing than this immortal's laughter. "I will always believe in you, even when you wont." He was about to put his glasses back but realized that not seeing the world around him was quite helpful, somehow less scary and threatening. Even when he violently blushed at Kensei's last question. "I... Might have missed this yes." But would he mind? If he had to face himself for once, to think about the way he'd felt toward this hero, would he really mind it? He had to confess that no... he wasn't so sure that he would.

"Kensei..." He began, stopping his pacing up and down to face the man in front of him, his dark eyes barely focusing on him. "I thought... Yaeko was a fairytale character, and so were you. Little boys are always in love with the princess, this is... The right thing to do, this is what is normal. This is what I've been taught. When I met you, the two of you, It was like I was 10 again and I was living my fairytale. She was who I was supposed to look at but... In the end... You were the one who mattered." He knew he was about to lose his words, to say stupid things, to confess dangerous thoughts he'd been burying inside of him since he'd left Adam's time, back then. But he had to say them.

'Kensei' the blond froze as effectively as if the shorter man had frozen time again. How long had it been since he had heard his Carp call him that? Less than a year he had said, and yet it had been far too long. And there was a different tone to it now, softer somehow, not the cold angry words they had exchanged in the vault before he had locked him away in the coffin he was now leaning against. And in that moment, the immortal didn't care about Adam anymore, or anything he'd done before. He would have given anything to be the man that had once belonged to that name if it meant that Hiro would look at him the way he once had. Like he was special, like he meant something, even if he hadn't yet deserved or earned his admiration then.

The blond watched curiously as his one time companion removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes with his fingers before taking a few steps. He looked tired-whether of him, or just in general the immortal couldn't be certain, but he seemed to smile, just a little when he laughed, even though the blond was laughing at him. His words that followed, cut the laughter a bit short, causing something in his chest to tighten a little. This man... he would never cease to amaze him. The blond nodded as the now nearly sightless carp continued to speak. He understood. Yaeko was to be his princess, it was what was expected of a warrior and a hero, of a man-to be with a woman. That was how the legend was written, that was simply what was done. Even now, though many cultures and most people had in the many centuries since become more-well at least tolerant of the idea of men who were interested in other men, it certainly wasn't something that would likely have been encouraged by Kaito, or the culture in which he had raised his son, he thought, fighting the urge to say anything against the assertion that falling for the princess in the fairytales was '_normal'_, or '_right'_. But suddenly the time travelers words drew him back from any and all other thoughts. '_In the end... You were the one who mattered._' the words seemed to sink in beneath the skin like a soothing balm, relieving all the old unspoken hurts. He mattered. He still did. He'd never stopped mattering to Hiro, even as often, and frequently-colossally as he screwed up. He mattered.

He seemed to start to put his glasses back on before deciding against it. He seemed somehow a little more relaxed without them, despite the fact the immortal remembered well the one time he had borrowed them for curiosity's sake, and declared his friend's vision was 'dreadful.' Hiro had flushed a very pretty, and endearing shade of pink when the blond pointed out that he was either missing or forgetting in his eagerness to redeem him that he'd just admitted to being attracted to him, and had wanted to kiss him. Or perhaps he thought the ageless man had simply gotten over it? That it no longer applied anymore?

"When I reached for you hand, when everything was going to hell, after we fought, after the place had began to burn... I really wanted to save you. I was... Devastated when I had to leave without you. I thought you were dead for good. Despite our fight... I mourned you." Oh no, please, not that, not those tears in his eyes, this was not a proper thing, this was not good. He hadn't been raised like this. His vision was even more blurry now. He gathered the few that was left of his courage and took a deep breath. "You were... And will always be... My model, my hero, my friend, my immortal." Then he didn't move anymore, waiting to see what would happen next and whatever it might be, he was willing to face it. He owed this to this man, to this incredible and desperate man before him, to his friend and maybe... His first love? After all, he couldn't deny the incredible boyish crush he'd always had on the mythic hero.

As the man continued, speaking about their last, and rather ugly encounter before the time traveler had returned to his own time, the blond shook his head. "I wanted to die,"he replied when he told him how desperately he had wanted to save him. "I wasn't sure that I could, but I thought if anything might kill me... How could I go back, and watch you with her -or let you go back to the world you came from the one you belonged to," he whispered softly. Hiro looked, almost tearful now the immortal looked on surprised, though he was clearly doing everything within his power to fight back the emotion that was welling up within him.

The blond listened as Hiro told him in no uncertain terms everything that he had meant to him, as a boy, when they had met, and even now, heart ablaze with everything that he felt for the man who'd finally stopped pacing to stand in front of him, albeit looking a little nervous, and it suddenly occurred to him just how vulnerable he had allowed himself to become in the presence of his one time hero, despite being well aware of all that his one time hero was capable of, and the amount of faith he continued to put in him moved him, and to him seemed more beautiful than anything he had ever seen in any of his many lifetimes.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user __**dori4n**__, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

_I wanted to die_. This time Hiro couldn't hide his pain and as he tried to blink away his tears again, he only caused them to fall on his cheeks. Quickly he wiped them away with the palm of his hand, embarrassed to appear so weak in front of anyone, even more in front of him, of this man, this so important man. "I couldn't stay." His Japanese accent was even worse than ever and with his shaken voice, his words were barely understandable. So he changed, deciding to go back to his mother tongue, knowing Kensei knew it perfectly. "I had things to do, I couldn't stay because… Because it would have been an incredibly dangerous thing to do to time." Practical, righteous, as always, no matter how much he'd desired to stay.

The blond immortal watched as his companion quickly wiped away any evidence of emotion from his face when he told him that he had wanted to die, his voice, and his English becoming progressively more broken as he spoke, until finally he relented, regressing back to his native and more practiced tongue. "I know my Carp," he nodded softly. He had always known somewhere in the back of his mind that he would not be able to stay, he'd just tried to forget about it as often as he could. "I understand, even then as much as I hated it. I just wish that I could have come with you," he admitted ruefully. But of course this was equally ridiculous and damaging to the timeline. How different the world might have been if he had simply run away from his own history to follow his Carp into his.

_Is it easier if you can't see me, my Carp_, the blond thought cautiously, _if you can squint and pretend I'm someone else?_ No, such thoughts could only be his insecurity, his doubts that this might actually be real and not so desperate and lucid fantasy from within his underground prison. But even if this had been true, he doubted whether it would have mattered much, by now he was too desperate, too selfish to stop himself. Kensei took a few tentative steps forward closing the gap between the two of them his hands reaching down and slowly taking the glasses from Hiro's fingers, wiping them clean against the tail of his untucked shirt, before gently sliding them back on his face, his bright blue eyes meeting his always expressive and beautiful dark brown ones, waiting as he blinked a few times for the spark of recognition that would tell him his eyes were focused once more. _Look at me_, he pleaded silently, and when he did, the blond let his own eyes flutter closed, tilting his head and slowly descending upon his lips, a very cautious and tentative hand fearing rejection moving up his spine to slowly run his fingers through the ends of his hair.

Through the blurry mess of faded colors he could distinguish in the darkness of the graveyard, the time traveler saw his one time friend leaning over him, even if he couldn't see his face, when he felt his fingers brushing his, he swallowed his saliva with some difficulty. Hiro didn't move, willing to face whatever would happen now and actually… This brief contact had not been unpleasant at all. Suddenly he could see again. Two sapphires staring at him. He blinked. This smile, always too fine from Kensei's too thin lips, those blond locks, a bit wild but short enough not to go in his eyes. Hiro didn't move, staring back in anticipation, not really knowing how he would handle what would happen, two things fighting inside of him: his education, and his own will.

He saw Kensei leaning toward him, slowly, so slowly the time traveler wondered if his power hadn't been triggered by something to slow down the man before him. The feeling of his long fingers curling on the nape of his neck sent a shiver down his spine, both from fear and excitation. He could do it. After all, he had wanted to do it he knew, he had even dreamt about it more than once, when he was back in time with his hero but also later, in his own time, when he was lying in his bed after an especially exhausting day. He remembered, in this strange state of half sleep, close to a meditative trance, that he'd dreamt about Kensei's embrace, he'd seen him instead of Yaeko, under the sakura, his hero's lips against his instead of the princess' ones. Hiro let his eyes go shut and waited, his heart pounding. Waited… Waited… What in the name of all the Kamis could took him so long?

Eventually he opened his eyes again to see the blond frozen, so very close to his lips he should have felt his breath against his skin but… His fingers were still behind his head-now no longer moving, and Hiro understood- he had stopped the time without even noticing. Too nervous… He'd always been too nervous, but he'd thought himself ready now, willing... So what was stopping him? Then he caught a glimpse of one of the graves behind him and he knew. He could see his father's severe look glaring at him with disapprobation, he could hear his strict voice commanding him to avenge him, not to make out with his murderer. All his father's cold anger was upon him and Hiro could feel it right through his bones, knocking at his heart, pressuring him. He couldn't do it… He shouldn't. Then, he remembered another look, so softer, so sweet, loving eyes watching over him and his beloved mother's voice whispering inside of him that he could do it because he could save him. Still… Despite all the horrors his father had done, Hiro kept a great respect for him. He'd made up his mind, and taking hold of Kensei's free hand, squinted concentrating.

When Adam felt the time passing again, the air was different, cooler, almost chilly, a breeze was messing with his hair and instead of the dry grass he could smell… Sakura? The immortal stumbled a little, eyes opening in confusion and surprise. He'd been afraid that Hiro had changed his mind, frozen him once more to wake in his coffin and tomb 6 feet under, or that maybe it had all been a dream. Images flashing before his eyes like the prayers of an all too desperate man. But then he saw his Carp, and then none of it mattered, because before he could even think of anything else, Hiro was standing on the balls of his feet to reach the taller man, and pulling him down a little to crush his mouth against his own, two arms throw themselves around his neck as his mouth crashed over the immortal's own. Hiro had found his courage, recovered his nerves, and made a choice. He wanted it-wanted him. More than he'd ever wanted anyone else, including Yaeko. The little man had taken control of himself and for once, he was doing something selfish, something only for him. Oh, of course, he knew he could keep an eye on him, he knew he could help him and he was willing to do so but… It was not the most important thing.

It was not a very talented kiss to be honest, it was a bit clumsy, a bit shy but God, it was so passionate, so true… So Hiro. Even when he didn't know how to do things, if he wanted them, he put all his little heart into them and right now, he most certainly was, even if it remained a rather chaste kiss, just lips against lips, not daring to move further. At this very moment, Hiro felt like he had finally fixed something long broken, like he was doing the right thing, the most important one in his whole life and he felt complete, justified. After a few seconds he let go off the blond man, unaware of the effect he might have had on him and pushed his glasses back with his index, his round cheeks still bearing a persistent shade of pink. He awkwardly passed his tongue on his upper lips to give him time to pull himself back together before explaining why they were standing under those pink Japanese cherry tree instead of where they had been before. "I couldn't give you a proper kiss you on the top of my father's grave…"

It was not a particularly graceful kiss, if the immortal was honest in his appraisal of it. It was more like Hiro, a bit clumsy, clearly something he had set his mind to and plunged headlong into, but it was enthusiastic, energetic… Perfect the blond assessed, arms wrapping back around the shorter man gratefully, clinging to him as though he were life itself, staring on in dumb, stunned, and happy disbelief as he slowly pulled back away from him again some moments later. He watched him push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, took in the bright pink flush on his cheeks, and—god he nearly lost control and all sense of himself as he watched his tongue nervously flit out to lick his upper lip, wanting nothing so much as to grab him and yank him into another kiss, plunging his tongue into his mouth and finally find out what this incredible young man tasted like. But then he spoke, and his heart dropped ever so slightly, as did his gaze.

With great difficulty the immortal forced his now heavy blue eyes back to Hiro's brown ones. "I am sorry, Carp," he whispered softly. It was difficult even now with what the Company, his own brainchild to make the world a better place, had put him through, to feel guilty about killing some of it's founders. Some, it still felt, had gotten what they deserved. And in over 400 years, he'd not made it a habit or regular practice of apologizing to anyone, much less feeling any guilt or regret for what he had done. But he was sorry for the pain he'd caused him, for his father, for all of it. Fleetingly he thought of asking him to take him back, so that he could change it, make it all right the first time through, but he knew that they couldn't. And had it been any other way, but this he might not have been standing in this beautiful place his time traveler had carried him to for the sole purpose of kissing him. "Gomen'nasai, Hiro," he whispered again, voice trembling slightly with emotion.

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**Translations:**

_Gomen'nasai- I'm sorry/ I'm very sorry_


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Notes: **_This story would not be possible without the contributions of fellow user __**dori4n**__, who's fellow love of this smaller "Heroes" ship, chatting about head canon, and Skype roleplaying helped to inspire and create this story. So if you like it please, make sure to check out their page and stories as well._

_[Please see bottom of each chapter for translations to Japanese words or phrases used by the characters.]_

* * *

The look the other man had upon him was all but distracting. Hiro could feel his bright blue eyes staring at him as if they were piercing through his very soul and no matter how hard he tried, he was still blushing. On another hand, he had all the reasons to blush. He'd just found it in him to kiss someone, which in itself for the socially awkward Hiro Nakamura would have been quite an achievement but not only had he kissed someone, he'd kissed a man, enough to give his father a heart attack and a man he'd been admiring, worshiping, certainly loving, and wanting for far too long. Enough to make his mother proud of him.

And truth be told, Hiro was proud of himself as well. Only then did he took a moment to acknowledge where he'd sent them. Grass around them, the moon above their head and the stars as only witnesses to their proximity, to their kiss. Hiro looked up at them and... He smiled. He smiled a warm and grateful smile to the night above of their head because if he'd kissed Yaeko in the day light, revealing himself to her, taking off his mask and destroying in the same time all he'd built with his friend, he was happy he had kissed Kensei in the night, under the moonlight. This had to be private, this had to be secret, this had to be shared only by the two of them and no one else.

When he heard Adam's apology he frowned and looked at him again, his smile turning a bit sad but not fading. He sighed and shrugged in resignation. "No you are not." He replied but there was no blame in his voice anymore. "We have made... Mistakes. Both of us." He frowned a bit more for a second before his face went back to its usual moony expression, a sorry smile on his lips. "I wont say I forgive you because it is not true. You did what you did, you had your reasons. But that doesn't mean I..." You what? Hiro wondered. But the distress he heard in Kensei's voice caused him to act more than think. He'd never been very successful with thinking after all. Every time he's try to set a plan up it'd failed or fired up at his face.

Hiro took the blond's hand in his and looked up at him. "Past is past. Some things can't be changed. I left you broken and lonely for centuries, you killed my father. I know it had nothing to do with me but... Irony, sometimes." He offered. He knew it was not as comforting as he had meant it to be but that was the best he could do. He took one step closer again, looking up to the taller man, one hand squeezing his. "Kensei, it doesn't matter if I can't forgive this one thing. Or maybe one day, you will have redeem yourself enough, I don't know. But it doesn't matter now. No matter what, I'm not leaving you again."

Then he discreetly chewed at his lips and lowered his head, looking at his feet, not even daring to look at him above his glasses while asking "I was bad, wasn't I?"

"But I am sorry that I hurt you," he justified sincerely, and he truly meant it. "I didn't mean it. When I told you that I wanted to make you suffer," he continued, referencing his swear in Whitebeard's camp before Hiro had been forced to teleport away to avoid his own death. "I never truly wanted that. I was hurt. But I just- All I ever truly wanted was you," he confessed. "More than I ever wanted a drink, or anything my entire life," he admitted a bit embarrassed, though these words were no less true.

He was calling him by that name again. The one he had given up long ago being his, the name of his hero, despite all the bad things that he had done, somehow he was still Takezo Kensei to this man, he thought surprised, and wonderfully strengthened by this thought. "I will, Carp," he promised solemnly, when Hiro suggested that perhaps someday he would atone and redeem himself of all the bad things he had done. "Anata no tame ni," he swore. "To be with you, by your side, to be the hero you always thought and saw in me.. I would do anything," he whispered, blue eyes becoming a little bit teary with emotion.

His eyes grew wider at the man's shy and nervous assertion that he had done poorly, kissing him, not even looking up into his eyes anymore. So Kensei let one hand come up beneath his chin, slowly lifting it to meet his gaze once more. "Iya, watashi no ai, sore wa kanpekidatta," he whispered tenderly, the hand beneath his chin slowly sliding to his cheek to cup his face, and leaning down met his mouth with his once more, and this time Hiro didn't even need to use his powers for the immortal to feel as though the world had stopped spinning, because he was finally kissing his time traveling friend, and Hiro was-albeit still a bit tentatively-kissing him back, and he had promised not to leave him again, not to lock him away again in the now abandoned and forgotten about empty coffin, or any other prision. He was free again. And for the first time in even longer, far too long, the immortal was happy.

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**Translations:**

_Anata no tame ni- for you_

_Iya, watashi no ai, sore wa kanpekidatta- no my beloved, it was perfect  
_


End file.
